The First Quarter of 2011 has Officially Ended
Once again, it is April First...Time sure flies. A quarter of 2009 has come and gone...and there is much real estate industry breaking news to report to you...so let's not waste any time:
The Internet to close on Sundays, effective May 1, 2009.
At the urging of the Secret Service, President Obama has agreed not to use his Blackberry on Sundays. To avoid any temptation, the President has issued an Executive Order, stating that the Internet will be closed on Sundays. It is only fair that if he can't use the Internet, no one else can. This move was applauded by former Vice President Al Gore (Inventor of the Internet…or was he the architect) as a “green move” which will save untold amounts of energy with computers out of operation one day a week.
In a surprise announcement this morning, Brad Inman announced that his very successful Real Estate Connect conference will be renamed the “InMAN” Conference and will be exactly that, a MEN ONLY event. Brad is referring all women applicants to Bernice Ross's AFIRE (Awesome Females in Real Estate). Quoting Brad: “It’s time that men had an event to call their own.” Shocked by the announcement, Fran Thorsen conferred with Tucson’s leading sexual discrimination attorney in preparation for a class action suit.
The California Legislature has unanimously approved a Bill that prohibits any real estate salesperson from owning and operating a website or a blog without first obtaining the written permission of their broker. This new law recognizes that websites are advertising and that brokers are responsible for the acts of their agents even on the Internet. Similar legislation is expected to follow in Texas, New Jersey, Florida, and Georgia among other states. It is expected that there will be a substantial decline in website sales for most website companies through 2009 as brokers begin to track and restrict the online presence of their sales associates. An odd provision in the bill exempts Point2 Technologies from this requirement.
Century21 announced today that it would be changing its name from Century21 to Century22, to remain on the chronological cutting edge. The Franchise colors will also be changing from mustard and chocolate to green and white, taking advantage of the Green Movement and NAR’s commitment to the Rose Bowl Parade.
And speaking of the Rose Bowl Parade,
In recognition of the GREEN movement, NAR has begun preparation for next year's Rose Bowl Float parade in Pasadena. Rather than roses, NAR will bedeck the float in a four-leaf clover motif. In keeping with President O'Bama's energy conservation policies, the float will be powered by green beer.
According to a Nigerian technology company, there is a new breakthrough in the fight against spam. NoSpamo.com has developed software that is guaranteed to eliminate all spam without any risk of false positives. If interested, NoSpamo.com will send you a check for $10,000 to cover the guaranty. You simply send them a money order for $1,000 to reserve your account.
In other news:
Facebook and MySpace are merging. The new entity will be known as either MyFace or SpaceBook. It might develop into two social networking platforms…one for the under 30 crowd (MyFace) and one for the older, baby boomers (SpaceBook).
Bob Hale of the Houston Association has taken the position of CEO General Motors.
Zillow and Twitter are merging and the new entity will now be known as Zitts.
CAR is expecting membership to drop from 150,000 to Zero in 2010. Who will sell real estate in California is the logical question. Luckily, CAR created “Intelligent Agent” a few years ago and will market it to the general public, beginning in June of 2010.
At 1:53 AM this morning, April 1, 2009, Congress passed the "US in Real Estate" bill, version 2.
As part of a bailout package for lenders, the US Treasury will purchase all adjustable loans (toxic assets) in the country for 25cents on the dollar, and then re sell them with the assistance of General Motors Finance for 65cents on the dollar. The bill contained a record 465 earmarks totaling over 500 billion dollars and is expected to save the auto industry and the banking industry in a single move. All profits will be split between the Big 3 auto makers with the principal amount of the loans to go back to the US government, to be allocated to incumbent congressional candidates re-election committees.
The US Department of Justice has decided that real estate licensing is anti competitive. Effective April 1, 2010, all real estate transactions will be handled through the combined efforts of the DOJ, which will represent sellers, and the FTC, which will represent buyers. This new Joint entity will be known as US REAL ESTATE, seen on the WWW at TheUnitedStatesOfAmerica.com. In keeping with their current government practice of looking out for itself and those in power, neither the DOJ nor the FTC will have a fiduciary duty to the buyers and sellers of real estate, their loyalty being to the government. It is anticipated that there will be no disclosure to consumers. A DOJ spokes person tells us, "what they don't know, won't hurt them, and we sure ain’t going to tell them."
US REAL ESTATE, will open offices in every major metropolitan area of the country and commissions on the sale of real estate will range from 15% to 25% of the sales price and closing periods will be 1 to 2 years on all transactions. There will be no negotiation of commission as this move is seen by Congress as a great revenue generator for the government, and be used to bail out the financial sector. An unnamed DOJ official stated "we at the Department of Justice feel that these fees are very reasonable. Attorneys typically charge 30% to 50% for cases which are contingency based. Real Estate sales are contingency based. If there is no closed sale, no commission is paid, so the fees the government plans to charge are very reasonable."
And that's the way it is, April 1, 2008.
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