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September 16, 2010

Negotiating Tip: Sugar Sandwich Walk Away

Hello Good Negotiators

Our last few tips dealt with the technique of breaking off or walking out of a negotiation. We discussed that this can be tremendously effective if planned in advanced and implemented properly.

But, what's the proper way to make our departure? How do we structure proceedings that would allow us to come back and comfortably rejoin the negotiations later on?

There are a number of ways to walk out effectively, but perhaps none as effective as the 'Sugar Sandwich' technique.


Negotiating Tip: Sugar Sandwich Walk Away

When formulating exactly how you will walk away, remember your objectives.

1. You want time to reevaluate your position.

2. You want(to force)your opponent to reevaluate their position and reflect on the fear of losing the deal.

3. And, you want to create an avenue and atmosphere for a cordial return.

I've never taken the Dale Carnegie courses, but friends who have, told me they teach the 'Sugar Sandwich' technique. That technique holds that if you have to tell someone something uncomfortable or potentially insulting, sandwich it between two soft, friendly and polite statements.

That three part formula (sweet-sour-sweet) can work effectively as a technique to walk out of negotiations. It gets the message across but leaves them with a sweet taste in their mouth.

An example might help clarify.

You're negotiating with an appliance store manager over a pricy new refrigerator. It has all the bells, whistles and deluxe features.

The item is just what you want, but the price is a challenge for you to accept.

Despite your effort to gain a price concession you've flinched, crunched, bracketed) the manager is holding firm. You've also employed the Power of Time by 'taking up a substantial portion' of the manager's time with endless inquiries about the item, the reviews, the features, the warranties, etc. Again, no movement on price from the manager.

You decide to employ your walk away technique in line with your pre-negotiation strategy.

Using the 'Sugar Sandwich', it would sound something like this....

You again grimace while examining the price tag and say something sweet, "I have to admit this is a quality item and to have you (and your store) standing behind it is a great benefit. Your good reputation precedes you. That's why we are here today."

Now the sour, "But I can't see how I can justify paying that price for this model. It's something I just can't get past."

End with the sweet, "Look, you know what flexibilities you have better than I. Could we both take a day or so think about how we could put a deal together. I'd really like to do business with you but will need your help to make that happen."

The manager might agree to the 'cooling off' period or play 'hardball' and say the price won't change in a day or so from now.

Either way, smile ask for reading material about the item and thank him/her for their time. Mention too that you will check back with him/her.

Imagine what that manager is thinking as they watch you (and a

sale) depart. Is the ground work set for your return a day or so from now? Can you see opening that conversation with "I'm still interested but can't get by the price. Do you have any suggestions for how we can proceed?"

Now we can only predict so far as to how things will unfold. To be sure, pressures unknown to us might tip things in our favor or away from us. Even if we get no price concession, we can be assured that we did receive the best price possible. Could you use the 'Sugar Sandwich?

Know that other walk away techniques are also available. Our next tip will explore some of those.

In the meantime, KEEP Negotiating.


Licensed Pennsylvania real estate broker for over 35 years, John Hamilton is an author, national speaker and educator who specializes in the art of negotiation. His most popular workshop is, “Negotiating: What’s Mine Is Mine, What’s Yours Is Negotiable” John was the 2002 President of the International Real Estate Educators Association and conducts over 125 seminars annually to business, banking, auctioneer, manufacturer representatives and real estate Boards/Associations. John's book KEEP Negotiating has become a desktop favorite for active real estate agents everywhere For past 15 years he has presented training program nationwide on sales, negotiating and motivational topics. Visit for a free report entitled the Top 12 Mistakes Negotiators Make. 

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