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2011-02-16 23:21:46

Are You Afraid to be Successful?

In my 14+ years of coaching real estate agents to be successful, I have uncovered that many people have a deep-seated fear of success.  When I probe for the reasons behind this fear of success, the pattern is very similar.  The clients that I work with who are afraid to be successful often had situations in their childhood that caused them to retreat.  There were hostile environments, turmoil, chaos and fighting, and the individual did the only safe thing to do, which was to withdraw and form the belief that it’s really not safe to be visible.  Along with that, other core beliefs that were formed were:  It’s not safe to express my feelings; it’s not safe to be myself; it’s not safe to succeed.  Basically succeeding was not safe because succeeding left the client more exposed, more visible, and therefore a possible target for punishment or disapproval. 

I just finished working with a client a few weeks ago who has much talent and potential to succeed.  She is currently dismantling her old programming from childhood, and discovering that even with all of her potential success and experience there lays a deep-seated belief that if she was successful that more would be expected of her and that she would subject her to criticism and disapproval.  This stops her from taking the actions that she needs to take to be successful.

Gradually over time in our sessions, we’re going back and helping her to release those old programs that have inhibited her success.  She now is beginning to understand that her safety now in life doesn’t depend on retreating; her safety depends on fulfilling her full potential.  In our last session together, she created some new empowered beliefs, such as;

  1. I welcome greater and greater success.
  2. I am experiencing massive amounts of success.
  3. I have created balance between my personal and professional life.
  4. I fully express my talents and abilities.
  5. My safety depends on living my full potential. 

After only a month of working together this client is already reporting feeling more confident, vast improvement in her negotiation skills, her speaking skills, and an increased ability to set boundaries with her clients.  All of this is happening because of the understanding that success comes from the inside out.  She was subconsciously blocking herself, as many of us do. We block ourselves with the fear of success and sometimes even the fear of failure.  Once these blocks are removed, we regain our confidence.  Many of my clients double and triple their incomes from this process. 

Here’s a coaching hint:  If you suspect that you are blocking yourself from success, sit down, get a pen and paper out, and write down the possible blocks or self-limiting beliefs that could be causing you to retreat from success.  Then ask yourself if you are willing to look at those and reprogram those.  The benefits are enormous; the choice is yours. 


Dr. Maya Bailey, Multiple 6 Figure Income Business Coach for Real Estate Professionals, integrates her 20 years of experience as a psychologist with 14 years of expertise in marketing. Her powerful transformational work creates a Success Formula for Real Estate Professionals ready to create a Multiple 6 Figure Income. To get your free report: “7 Simple Strategies to More Clients in 90 Days” and to apply for an Initial Complimentary Consultation, go to

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