This is an e-mail exchange with a Coaching Client (a Real Estate Agent) that is going through a tough period in his life, children, family, and health issues.  He is also struggling to get Buyers to contract and I will discuss my answer to him in my next blog post.

I wrote…
Have we talked about the Triad?  (It’s a Tony Robbins concept.)  The Triad is the key to managing your emotional state.  It is a skill and one that is very rewarding to learn.
Using the Triad you are able to disassociate emotionally from the people and situations that are damaging your psyche and distracting you.  Then you can focus on raising your income which will put you in the position to solve those situations and move away from those people.  At the same time I do understand that there may be a of sense of loss which is normal when you are growing out of and away from relationships and situations that you have been in for a long time.  

You have tremendous motivation.  That is clear.  As you take the bus, walk to appointments and do what it takes to succeed during this difficult period, instead of being embarrassed… Smile.  Imagine your future past these people and these situations.  Focus on what you are going to do next and what that will mean for you, your loved one and you life.  And smile.  That is the Triad.  Focus, Meaning, and Physiology. 

I respect and admire what you are doing.
Here is a thought that has served me and others very well.  “You can’t control the thoughts that pop into your head and the feelings that pop into your heart.  However, you can control how long you hold them there.”  It is a key to focusing. 
When a disempowering thought pops into your head or a disempowering feeling shows up in your heart, notice it.  Recognize that you can dwell on it or replace it.  This step begins the process of disassociating from it.  Then replace it with a more empowering thought.  Focus on the empowering thought and what it means to you.  As you do this, be sure to change your physiology (what you are doing with your body).  Smile.  Stand.  Put your shoulders back, head up, chest out, a posture and physiology of pride.  Walk a bit, even if it is just around the room you are in.  You will feel the shift.  Stay with it for a few minutes and you will discover that you have shifted your emotional state, which is a huge step in shifting your life.