One of the most fascinating Greek mythological tales is the story of a young man named Narcissus, who was the son of the river god Cephissus and the nymph Liriope.  He was an extraordinarily handsome young man and renown for his beauty.  When he was born, his mother was told that he would enjoy a long life provided he never saw his own reflection. There are several variations of this tale that have survived so there is a suggestion that the tale we commonly refer to today is a "compilation" of several versions that were passed down over time.

The story of Narcissus, is a story about love...self love.  Depending on the source, Tradition indicates that because of his looks, Narcissus attracted the infatuation of a nymph called Echo.  Echo's ardent love for Narcissus was rejected.  Spurned and wounded, Echo became heart sick and and withdrew into a lonely life of solitude and eventually pined away to a plaintive whisper.

When the Greek goddess of justice, Nemesis heard about Echo's prayers for vengeance, she enacted punishment on Narcissus by causing him to watch his own reflection endlessly until he too finally finally died. A peculiar form of judgment which doomed Narcissus to be wounded by the anti-thesis of what he carelessly disdained.  Today, the Greek flower by the same name, (the common daffodil is a member of this plant family) is characterized by the fact that it always bends it's head downward toward the water...a graceful reminder of the Greek superstition that excessive self focus is unhealthy and can be the ultimate "fatal attraction."

References to the term narcissism in the Encyclopedia Britannica indicate that in psychiatry and especially psychoanalysis, the term narcissism denotes an excessive degree of self-esteem or self-involvement, a condition that is usually a form of emotional immaturity."  Our modern culture is self-possessed in a manner that rivals the most extraordinary excesses of human history. 

It is a natural impulse to have self-interest.  In fact the biblical injuntive to "love you neighbor" assumes that you love yourself...the entire quote being..."love your neighbor AS you love your self.  I think the way in which the process becomes toxic is when self love becomes dammed up without an outlet.  The stagnation of unrelenting focus and self-interest becoming a dank, sour cesspool which obscures our ability to receive the gifts of others. And most importantly, to give of ourselves to others.

In some ways, the culture of self fascination is exponentially accentuated by the phenomenon of the Internet search.  For the first time in history, the entire collective wisdom and focus of the entire world can be almost instantaneously accessed to produce a compilation of every minute detail about anyone or anything.  We can search for our names, our interest, our celebrities, our heroes, our nemesis and anything else that supports the world of "US" with electric speed.  In fact, we religiously spend hours of our lives doing exactly this.  Google traffics entirely on this fact!  Through a Google search, we can track with relentless precision every element of information that is currently creating our personal archives in multiples of images, print, audio and video logs.

Meanwhile, the modern version of Nemesis continues to exact her peculiar form of justice.  Shattering the margins of our self-absorbed worlds, the chaos inherent in our culture and relationships wrecks havoc in homes through divorce, separation, alienation and brokenness.  But like the curse of Narcissus, we continue to peer deeper into the inscrutable reflection in the pool, looking for answers in realms that are increasingly self absorbed.  Witness the rise of the Self-Help movement and the enormous growth of the Spa industry which promote the ultimate indulgence in self-care and in some ways self absorption.

I think this ancient tale still offers a valuable contribution to assist in creating appropriate boundaries.  In my analysis, Narcissus was not ultimately condemned for the sin of loving himself too much, but rather because he failed to extend love and appreciation to others.  The sword of his disdain eventually held him hostage to the image of his own affections.  Note also that he didn't fall in love with himself...he fell in love with a poor reflection of his true self...an entity that could never sustain life.

This type of excess remains a real temptation...even more so today when hours of self absorption on-line can so easily fool us into thinking that virtual reality is a subsitute for real life.  In the process of interacting on-line, it is prudent to make sure that our love affair with the computer does not condemn us to a life poor in the wealth that can only come through investing time and love in those with whom we live everyday.

Photograph of dafodills courtesy of Brandon Cirillo on flickr.

Copyright 2007  All Right Reserved  Audu Real Estate

 Sneaker Warriors on the Move...

A Sneaker advertisement in the latest issue of Vanity Fair magazine  (June 2007) captured my imagination.  Coverse brand of sneakers to be exact.  A Sneaker Ad about Healthy Cultures and Creativity. 

Healthy Cultures...the definition  according to Converse:

"Healthy Cultures Nurture Creativity.  They help breathe life into the people who live within them.  Offer an array of perspectives to agree with, to fight against, to expand on or challenge."

"A Healthy Culture Welcomes Dissent.  Listens for the sound of new voices.  Supports original imaginations."

"Healthy Cultures are full of artists.  When hope dies, so does creativity.  When culture is lost, so is the Future."

"Indifference is the enemy.  Nothing is inevitable if you're willing to think.  Nothing is unattainable if you're willing to fight."

The ad which highlights the worldwide initiative to eliminate AIDS in Africa asks a question...How can we use our creativity within culture to be an agents of change?  This was a fitting entry for Converse to enter into Vanity Fair's June edition which focuses on Africa and is Guest edited by Bono (U2)

So, why is a sneaker company talking about Culture and expanding the definition way beyond the normally accepted boudaries of geographic location, socio economic statistics, politics and commonly acknowledged people groups.  Well, perhaps because the Internet has exploded the barriers that used to define culture into oblivion...forever!

Culture is rapidly morphing from a place where one participates within the more limiting contexts of physical or emotional space to include the abstract equivalent  in virtual reality and on-line communities.  Recognition of this reality links health and environment together in a manner that re-defines the rapidly expanding role of the artisit and creativity.  The artist...aka the writer & the contributor, are recast in roles that highlight the importance of dissent and the clarion call of the unique voice ;  a vivid re-imagination of the definition of health.  The meaning  of the old adage..."birds of a feather flock together," shifts  offering  new revalation into how the modern day flock emerges.

• "Healthy Cultures breathe life into the life into the people who live within them.  Healthy Cultures offer an array of perspectives.  Nothing is inevitable if you're willing to think!  Indifference is the enemy."  (Converse Ad - Vanity Fair 2007)

Sneakers are what we wear when we're exchanging the limiting contstraints of formal wear shoes to be more comfortable and more flexible.  Sneakers are what we wear when we really need to be able to be flexible, to move, walk...run and play.  Sneakers are shoes in which we engage with the world...not simply tippy toe through it.  Sneakers are what we wear when we need to move with the freedom of our entire body!  Next to our bare feet, sneakers are the closest thing to healthy footware that most of us possess.

So, is your Physical, Relational and Virtual culture healthy?  Are you a Sneaker Warrior?

I had a number of errands to run today.  It's one of my rare office days when my schedule is my own to do with as I please - within the boundaries of getting my work done of course.  The day is gorgeous in Grand Rapids, so my youngest son and I take off in the car to enjoy being together and being outdoors.  He's immersed in a new book, so I pop in a Tony Robbins CD from his "Get The Edge Series."  He momentarily perks up to listen and then decides his book is more interesting.  I settle down. We're together...teenager & Mom...and this is a good thing... and it is enough. 

I've received the series as a gift several days ago.  As Tony begins to talk, I drift in and out of my private thoughts.  Then something he says arrests my attention.  He is asking a question...Did you have a Great Thought Interrupt Your Day today? 

It's a rhetorical question...the point being made that great thoughts rarely interrupt our days...they come during moments of contemplation, relaxation or fun.  Seemingly from nowhere, ideas arise, solutions emerge and opportunities all of a sudden become visible.  But how...

You have to make time to Create!  Creation is an artistic discipline which must be nourished to thrive.  Creativity needs the spacious landscape of downtime...relaxation...to enable its effervescence to bubble to the surface.  As I listened to the CD, there were several insights that emerged. 

1.  Creativity must be Nourished & Protected.

For many years, I have devoted the first hour of my day to quiet contemplation and devotional reading. It is at these moments, when my mind is freshest and my thoughts have not yet begun to race unabated, that inspiration has aroused fresh passion within my soul.  Most of my teaching on spiritual life has been written during these times.  While my level of mental and spiritual stimulation is not always on "high alert", I have always been refreshed and more relaxed in starting my day this way.  The days when this time has been rushed or omitted have left a slight disjointed unsettling feel to life's activities.  Consequently, these moments must be treasured and protected. 

2.  Creativity Requires Time to Flourish.

A big mistake which I have often made or been tempted to make when I have an inspired idea is to talk about it...to anyone and everyone.  Experience has taught me that not every receiver of information is tuned in to give helpful or wise counsel and support.  Creative ideas are seeds.  They do need to be planted and worked into the soil. Inappropriate exposure will kill an emerging seedling of an idea.  Criticism, skepticism, scorn and misunderstanding are poisons that will effectively cut off its young life.

3.  Creativity Thrives on Expectation.

The 1989 Movie, "Field of Dreams"  the character Terrence Man (played by James Earl Jones) encourages Ray (played by Kevin Costner) with this famous quote "If you build it, they will come" famous.  In a similar way, creative instinct also forces you out on a limb with reference to expectations. Expecting to be inspired has a way of creating opportunities for inspiration and creativity.  It's a matter of perspective. 

The fact is that inspiration is all around us.  We usually don't see it because we are walking around with our "eyes wide shut."  Creativity abounds within the peculiarities of nature.  It dances with delight in the mischievous smile of a child.  It mesmerizes within the dramatic flair of artistic expression.  Creativity jives with the beat of the drums or glides on the strains of the violin.  If you live in expectation...Creativity will come!

4.  Creativity is Invigorated by a Sabbath Rest.

I realized, only recently, that my understanding of the Sabbath was very shallow and misguided.  Earlier this year,  I picked up a fascinating book by a Jewish Rabbi, Rabbi Daniel Lapin called "Thou Shalt Prosper.  Ten Commandments for Making Money." 

In one section of the book,Rabbi Lapin writes about Consecrating Time for Forecasting and the power of being able to understand the soft, subtle signals that coming events send into the future.  According to Lapin, the reason we miss these signals is because we have neglected the necessary quiet time to take note of them.  To hear these muted messages, we must be willing to block out noise.  Only then will we be able to hear the soft and quick tread of rapidly approaching trends. 

Lapin writes: "the practice of Sabbath...a day of rest may seem to be governed by primitive rules, but its effect is to "create a tranquil oasis" in time and space from which the future can be effectively contemplated.  For 25 hours each week, Jews are required to put aside all work-related objects and activities ....It is a regular weekly period of time during which their beings are set on "receive mode" rather than "transmit mode."

When I think about the frenzy that characterizes so much of the real estate experience, I wonder if we'd be much more effective if we worked in ways that enhanced rather than depleted creative momentum.  The average Realtor prides him/herself in being easily and continually accessible.  Downtime is often spent under the dull spell of a droning television set.  Open Houses are routinely scheduled for weekends and vacations are preceded by a whirlwind of activity to wrap things up before we leave. A flurry of appointments and emergencies are scheduled for when we return.  

May this be one reason that as an industry, we've missed some important messages that the market sent us and have found ourselves scrambling to react to trends rather than leading the way to creative solutions?  Perhaps, we have been so busy being busy that we've neglected the vitally important discipline of being quiet enough to observe, understand and then respond appropriately. 

Perhaps in failing to listen and quiet our collective heart and spirit, we have forged ahead without the strength of vision which only comes when you catch your breath, stand still and absorb the messages being transmitted to you.  You might think ...We can't possibly afford to do this...things are moving way too fast.  I challenge you with what me seem to be an absurdity...Perhaps there is too much at stake not to! 

*Editorial note:  This blog post was started some time ago...my day today was far more hectic. :)

*photographs of dandelions are courtesy of Dawn Endico on flickr

Copyright 2007 Audu Real Estate  All Rights Reserved

A Traveller's Guide on the Road Less Travelled.

Why Shifting Into Neutral Can Fast Forward Your Advancement!

 There's an oft repeated tale about how certain hunters in Africa catch monkeys.  It can be very difficult to corral these intelligent creatures, so hunters have used a more inventive method...trapping a monkey by enticing him.  A small jar is placed at the base of a tree with nuts or other items which may attract the monkey's curiosity. 

The opening of the jar allows the monkey to place his hand in, but when he tries to withdraw it, he is unable to do so without letting go of the contents of the jar.  Believe it or not, some monkeys will stay there with their hand in the jar until the hunter comes back to trap them!  They are trapped because they are unwilling to let go of something they are doing which is working against them.

It's not just monkeys who get trapped by what we are unwilling to release.  While, most of us would not be tempted by peanuts or sweets in a jar, it's amazing the things we will hang onto rather than release them so we can move on.  As a Realtor, I witness this phenomenon all the time.  The peanuts are quite conventional; I've got to obtain this Price for my house...irregardless of the market or I must have this home even though I can't really afford the payments. There may be variations on these themes, but in the end they're still peanuts...unrealistic expectations held on to at the expense of moving forward and achieving our goals & desires.

The real estate process often involves the 3 main components of this story; the Hunter, the Monkey & the Jar of Peanuts.  Buyers & Sellers are the significant players in the real estate process.  Sometimes, there is a tendency to behave like the monkey with the hand stuck in the jar for a few peanuts.  Instead of drawing back, taking the hand out of the jar to reconsider options and listen to sound counsel, so many get trapped by the peanuts. 

Peanuts are the misguided rewards that we think we desperately need.  Peanuts are symbolized by the Price that the Property must be worth because so much has been put into improvements.  Peanuts talk to the monkey even though they have no audible voice.  They convince the monkey that if you hold on to this for long enough, you will get what you want.  Peanuts lie!  Letting go of false assumptions is what will bring fulfillment to the desire & this can only be done by stopping the action of holding on to those peanuts. 

Holding on to an Artificially Inflated Price which the current market cannot support is listening to the Peanuts Lie.  Refusing to let go of clutter that serves no useful purpose and is hindering the sale of your home traps the hand in the peanut jar.  Looking for the , perfect home, in the perfect neighborhood, with  the perfect neighbors at the perfect price etc. ad nauseum ensures that your dream will never become a reality because...I tell you truth...Those peanuts will lie to you & then trap you! Once you move into the perfect neighborhood, you can rest assured, it will no longer be perfect.

The Hunter represents market forces.  The market needs players so it offers attractive opportunities. The number of financing vehicles, housing choices & selling tools  available to home buyers and home sellers has created many options &  provided a diverse variety of peanut jars. The market doesn't really care which monkey is snared by the contents of the jar.  It knows that some monkeys will pass by it's offers & simply decide that peanuts just aren't' an attractive choice on the menu at the moment. 

The Hunter also figures that a certain percentage of monkeys will recognize a trap when they see one & won't fall for the ruse.  But, it gambles that enough monkeys will not figure out a very simply solution to the dilemma.  Simply, let go of the peanuts, release your hand from the trap, turn the jar upside down & then you can have your peanuts & not get trapped!  The monkeys who have their Freedom & Eat Their Peanuts as well are those who realize that sometimes you have to let go of an outdated or incorrect assumption or ideals in order to move forward.  Sometimes, the action you take to STOP doing the wrong thing is the most important action you take because it allows you to see more clearly the best solution & option available to you.

Instead of demanding the highest price, simply stop being unrealistic.  Instead of taking several jobs to support a lifestyle we cannot afford, simply stop spending more money than you make or sell your house & move to something more affordable. We would be so much further ahead. if we concentrated on simply stopping doing a few of the things that we are doing which impede our progress  Instead of thinking like the monkey who is committed to getting a few peanuts out of a jar at the expense of his life & freedom, we can stop and  let go of the peanuts  & choose intelligent solutions.  This technique works for real estate & for life!

© 2007 Audu Real Estate  All rights reserved