Jun. 17, 2006
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Set Strong Boundaries
Do you ever feel you are a victim at the mercy of others? Would you love to have a strong MOAT around you so they can't impact you? If so, here are good ways 5 ways to strengthen your personal boundaries:
1. What behavior in others is unacceptable?You do not need to put up with behavior that is hurtful, disrespectful or just plain rude! If you do not respect yourself and set boundaries, it is likely you will be negatively impacted by others. Make some conscious decisions about what is and what isn't acceptable. This is a very personal thing and no one else's standards or boundaries have anything to do with what you choose for yourself.
2. Then Communicate Those Boundaries. Life is too short to work with jerks! Luckily, most clients don't fall into that category, but maybe just need a little coaching on giving your proper respect. On the other hand, if they are rude jerks, you don't need them. Once you communicate and set boundaries with others, they will usually respect them. You may need to remind them, but most people want it to be a win/win.
3. Days off and office/work time. We are one of the few professions where the norm seems to be that an agent should be around 24/7 for their clients. We have done this to ourselves! Stop it! If you tell people in advance your working hours, you will not lose clients, but will be garnering the respect you deserve. My friend, John Smith, printed on his business cards: Office Hours: M-F 9 am-6 pm,Saturday by appointment, Sunday-Family Day.
4.Give Up Being Mother Theresa You may be in this business because you like people, but you can not solve everyone's problems. I am particularly talking about getting sucked into dramas. As an agent, we can provide all the business information they need, but don't need to become co-dependent about helping them solve their life problems. Some people thrive on the excitement of crises and dramas. This isn't a productive use of your time unless you ware working on getting your therapy license.
5. Enjoy Yourself One of my favorite quotes is by my husband, Bub, who says,"If you aren't enjoying yourself you are doing it wrong." I misquoted him once by saying "If you aren't having fun, you are doing it wrong" and he corrected me by explaining it was about enjoying SELF. In other words, liking the person you are and the things you are doing.
When you respect yourself and set boundaries, this tells the world you are a person with high self-esteem who is true to their own values. You may find yourself letting go of some relationships, but it will probably be a relief instead of a problem.
What boundary could you implement this week? Implement one, see how it feels and then I bet you will extend that moat around you to really give yours self some protection
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