Jul. 25, 2007
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Do You Keep Your Word?
One of the most common reasons people say they hire me as their coach is for accountability! Webster's defines accountability as "an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions."
Here is the problem: when you feel obligated, rarely do you have passion and excitement that pulls you into action. It falls to making yourself take action or what is sometimes called self-discipline. I don't know about you, but there is a definite residual of defiance from my hippie days that cringes at discipline.
I have found, fortunately, that I naturally take action when I am truly motivated, and when goals are congruent with my vision. This is the case with most of my clients, as well.
Determining the level of passion is the step often missing in goal setting.
Take a look at your goals for this year right now. Then do an assessment of whether you have the RIGHT Goals:
- How are you doing? Are you where you should be to achieve the goal so far?
- Do you know how you are doing :>)? (This means do you have a tracking system in place you refer to at least monthly)
- Are you taking the right actions to reach the goal?
- Was your assessment of what it would take accurate?
- Are you REALLY committed to the goal? (Or is it someone else's or one you think you SHOULD do?)
- What skill do you need to fine-tune to get the results you need? (practicing a script or just creating one, perhaps)? Or do you need to to take more action
- Are your goals visible? Do you look at them and think about them EVERY day?
- Are you having fun?
If you start here, you will be able to see how you can stay on track. Don't get the impression I don't think accountability is a good thing. I do! I believe, though, that it must be in place to support you, not be a big stick to make you feel ashamed or incompetent. Self-confidence is a very important component in success. You will achieve what you believe you can. If you have that little voice reminding you that you never make the calls or take the actions you said you would, you don't feel very good about yourself, do you? Using accountability helps you keep the goal alive and pulls you into doing your best.
What Kind of Accountability Do You Need?
You've reviewed your goals, re-committed to them, and identified what skill building needed. Now what? The best thing you can do is to get a partner! We all know or have heard that two heads are better than one ... the simple principle of Mastermind can be used to keep you focused and in action. An accountability partner can come in many flavors:
- Plain Vanilla may be an office mate who also is committed to excellence.
- Chocolate may be your office manager or team leader.
- Banana Split may be a mastermind group of 4-6 people.
- Chocolate Molten Lava Cake may be a professional coach.
The important thing is to eat the ice cream and have fun with it. A coach's job is to see you bigger than you see yourself. To help you stretch so you are very proud of your accomplishments. To be your cheerleader. To point out flaws in your game plan. When you are at the top of your game, you naturally get in the flow, have fun and that law of attraction kicks in. You'll experience less efforting and more ease. This is the state that allows you to accomplish LOTS with little struggle. The who you are being (self-confidence, passion, etc.) is actually more important than what you are doing. I love the reminder to be a human being, not a human doing!
However, you can't sit around and say "OHM" and wish business to come (at least I haven't found anyone who has done this successfully!). With your partner, you will each make a weekly promise. If you are doing this with a colleague, your promises should be individual to your goals. Challenge each other to play big! Don't let excuses get in the way. If you don't keep your promise, inquire into what could have been done to keep it, so next time you have a solution to the situation.
Set a time to talk weekly and communicate on the results of the previous week.
- Did you do what you said you would?
- What showed up you didn't expect?
- What results did you achieve?
- What worked and what didn't?
- What do you need to put in place this week that will handle what didn't work?
Don't make promises with clear criteria of satisfaction and time frames. Like goals that contain the word "more". Define what you mean, if possible by measurable targets.
After debriefing last week, set targets and goals for the coming week. Ask for any support you need. Perhaps a check in mid week, or daily will keep you focused and on track.
The Most Important Secret Weapon
Having an accountability partner works because humans sleaze out on promises to themselves when they would NEVER EVER not keep their word to a client. I think because nobody else knows we made that promise and we won't "look bad" (at least to the outside world-because we definitely know we look bad to ourselves!), we fudge on our own promises. Circumstances come up and we justify. Or some days we are just not committed and we don't own that. Listen, think about the people around you that don't keep their word consistently -- even if it is just they are always 5 minutes late. Let me ask you, do you trust them? Probably not. They may be nice. You may like them, but you don't trust that if they say something will happen, it WILL.
Now think about what you do to yourself when you say you are going to make 10 warm calls each day and when the time comes to do it, you find something else to distract you. If you told a client you'd be someplace and do something, you would. But you look at your schedule for the day and decide you don't need to do that thing that you know is IMPORTANT. It isn't urgent and so we decide it can be done later. If you do this on a regular basis, you start to NOT TRUST YOURSELF!!!!
If you want to be the best you can, you need self-confidence and one of the easiest and best ways to do that is to be IMPECCABLE with your word. Do everything you say you will. Now, things do happen (It was a jolt to learn I wasn't in control of the Universe, but, quite frankly, accepting that I am not is a lot less stressful than it used to be). When things happen that make it impossible for you to do what you promised, you need to communicate and re-promise. This applies whether to another or to yourself. Immediately, go to plan B. Don't just say, "Oh, well ... that wasn't that important." or "I can do it later."
Here is a challenge. For the next week. Keep your word to yourself IMPECCABLY. Do everything you intend to do, no matter what. Know that doing this for a week, will start a new habit in place that will raise the standard you have, little by little. It may just be starting to be on time or early! Or spending an hour each day talking to or seeing clients or people who could become clients! Or actually exercising for that 30 minutes a day!
Raise the bar for yourself. Design that accountability and be impeccable with your word. I can promise you miracles will start to happen.
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So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter. 
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