I've had several instances recently where a potential client had to choose between working with a friend or family member or working with me. In the majority of those cases, they've chosen me, thankfully. But those decisions haven't been without consequences. Feelings have been hurt. And given the number of real estate agents out there, it seems worth a discussion.

The Greater Piedmont Area Association of REALTORS (the local assocation for the counties I primarily work in) has more than 700 members. That's a lot given the number of transactions happening these days. In all likelihood, most people know someone who had a real estate license.

And, as soon as you start thinking about buying or selling and mention it to them, they will, of course, want you to do business with them. I've been that friend or relative and I've definitely asked for the business. However, there have also been times when I felt that the friendship would be best served by that person using another agent.

If you're trying to make a decision and are torn, I'd recommend first of all, talking to the friend or relative and let them know that however much you care about them, you'll be basing your decision on who can best help you achieve your goals in this area. A person can be a wonderful human being and not necessarily the best in their professions. Or, you may feel that you don't want to mix business and pleasure. But treat the individual fairly, give them a chance to interview for the job. That's all anyone can ask.

Having been on the receiving end of not getting the business in this kind of situation, I know how important it is to be gracious. I also know how hard it is, especially right now. There are real estate agents fighting to stay economically viable in a very tough market. Rejection is hard to take under those circumstances. Grace does not come easily in such situations!

In the end, making the best decision for yourself and your family is what's important. Whether that's using a friend or family member or the professional you believe can best get the job done, don't be afraid to do what's right for you!