I've had several instances recently where a potential client had to choose between working with a friend or family member or working with me. In the majority of those cases, they've chosen me, thankfully. But those decisions haven't been without consequences. Feelings have been hurt. And given the number of real estate agents out there, it seems worth a discussion.

The Greater Piedmont Area Association of REALTORS (the local assocation for the counties I primarily work in) has more than 700 members. That's a lot given the number of transactions happening these days. In all likelihood, most people know someone who had a real estate license.

And, as soon as you start thinking about buying or selling and mention it to them, they will, of course, want you to do business with them. I've been that friend or relative and I've definitely asked for the business. However, there have also been times when I felt that the friendship would be best served by that person using another agent.

If you're trying to make a decision and are torn, I'd recommend first of all, talking to the friend or relative and let them know that however much you care about them, you'll be basing your decision on who can best help you achieve your goals in this area. A person can be a wonderful human being and not necessarily the best in their professions. Or, you may feel that you don't want to mix business and pleasure. But treat the individual fairly, give them a chance to interview for the job. That's all anyone can ask.

Having been on the receiving end of not getting the business in this kind of situation, I know how important it is to be gracious. I also know how hard it is, especially right now. There are real estate agents fighting to stay economically viable in a very tough market. Rejection is hard to take under those circumstances. Grace does not come easily in such situations!

In the end, making the best decision for yourself and your family is what's important. Whether that's using a friend or family member or the professional you believe can best get the job done, don't be afraid to do what's right for you!

I'm always interested in why people choose their listing agent. Whether it's me or someone else who gets the business, the decision making process is of interest to me.

I had a listing appointment scheduled for one evening this week and got a call during the afternoon from the sellers cancelling the appointment. They said they'd already chosen another agent. They had originally planned to interview three agents and then choose. But they ended up making their choice after only interviewing one.

Now, if I'm the first one in and you allow me to talk you out of interviewing anyone else, good for me I guess. But definitely NOT good for you!

When I asked the sellers why they chose this agent they said "I think it was because she was just so pushy and she wore us down." That's a really interesting reason to choose an agent! Apparently this agent called them constantly asking why they were waiting to interview other agents when she was ready to go NOW!

To be fair this does show a great degree of enthusiasm and energy. And those are good qualities in a real estate agent. It may also signify desperation, a lack of confidence in their ability to compete against other agents and too much time on their hands!

Sellers should interview more than one agent because there is a lot of difference. I'll do a future blog on what questions you might want to ask in that interview.

I'd consider changing my approach to getting listings based on this feedback but high pressure tactics are pretty much foreign to my nature. I hate pushy salespeople when I'm trying to make a buying decision, especially a high dollar decision. In fact, I've told more than one they could either back off or lose any chance at my business. So, I'll probably continue to rely on my ability to present a compelling rationale using facts to explain why I'm the best agent to list your home!

If you've sold a home in the past I'd be interested in hearing how you made your decision on which agent to use. And if you're an agent are you successfully using high pressure tactics to get listings? Do you think there's any risk to establishing a working relationship that starts out on that footing?