I was thinking about our first relocation the other morning while I was at the gym - doing ab crunches, which I hate. Guess I needed something to get my mind off of what I was doing.

But what I was thinking about was much harder than a hundred ab crunches.

Our first relo was from Detroit, MI to Boston, MA. We had two children (3 and 2), I was in graduate school and working, and my wife was working for General Motors (at that time everyone in MI either worked for one of the big automakers or a related industry. We were interested in going to Boston and she had an opportunity for a new job there. So the decision was made.

Because of grad school, and her job, my wife went off to Boston to start work and lived in a hotel for 3 months. I stayed in Dearborn Height with the kids, and continued grad school and working. We got to visit a couple of times during this period, meeting midway in New York. This was one of the hardest things I have ever done - and it was especially hard for the girls not having their mother around.  And I know it was so hard for my wife to not be home with her girls. Talking on the phone daily helped, but it's just not the same. I was also starting my job hunt in Boston since I was at a point with grad school when I could live elsewhere and finish my research. Fortunately some of my wife's family a couple of hours away so periodic visits helped.

My wife started house hunting and plans were made to put our first house in MI on the market. Busy times, for sure. Our house didn't sell right away but off to Boston I went with the kids. We moved into a rental apartment for a couple of months while we waited for the Michigan house to sell (tough market back then) and to close on our new home in Boston. Because of the rental most of our furniture and personal stuff remained in storage.

This was a really tough emotional, and physically draining, experience for everyone, but it all worked out...finally (took about 5 months). We moved into our new home outside Boston, I started a new job and continued to work on finishing my degree (which meant a monthly trip from Boston to Detroit...by car [15 hours each way] since money was not abundant in those days), the kids started pre-school down the street, my wife settled more into her job and life moved on.

Going through relocation yourself? I know what it's like. Guess those ab crunches weren't so bad after all.

Selling your home when you are planning to relocate isn't really too different, and my intent here is NOT to counsel on the methods you should employ (maybe later) but to emphasize some issues that you should be aware of given you are relocating (not down the street but far away, say hundreds of miles or more).

1. Get it sold before you move, and before you buy another house, if at all possible. This is particularly important in most markets today since homes are sitting on the market much longer. If you commit to another house but yours doesn't sell, and you NEED to be in your new home for work, etc., you are in a pickle. Plus you have to qualify for that new mortgage and may not if you have a home you need to sell.

2. Be conservative in your pricing. This is even more important with a relo because you cannot afford to not have the house sell, in most cases, and we all know there is a lot of competition. Since you need to make a clean break and move on, get the place sold. Holding out for a few thousand dollars (only a possibility) does not make sense. And if you NEED to make a certain net on your house you could be in a tight spot; and you may be cutting things a bit short in terms of trying to make a move into a new home right away. Whenever you buy before you sell you GIVE UP your power of control.

3. Plan a strategy to deal with the various contingencies that might arise so you have some backup plans. For example, the house does not sell right away but you need to move for work - do you go and leave the family behind? Does everyone go and the house remains vacant? Think about how long you can realistically afford to wait to sell before you either don't make the move or delay it (if that is an option), or you have to rent. Look at your monthly expenses and how much cash you have to hold you over.

4. Find out what your current employer (or new one) will or can do if the house does not sell. While some will  buy it themselves, this represents a significant financial burden, especially in this market, so they may not be willing to do this. If there is a relocation firm involved, find out if they purchase and then sell on their own. Be sure you find out what the price will be - this MAY NOT be to your advantage financially. Of course, if the house does not sell and renting is not an option, you may have no choice.

5. Investigate the rental market thoroughly, including asking your agent, so you know what your home could realistically bring in the rental market. This is critical in case you need to make a decision about renting or not. Understand and prepare for the difference between your rental income and your monthly expenses - will the rent cover your loan payment? 75%? Make sure you understand all the financial issues so you can make an informed decision if you need to.

6. Keep in mind that the rental market may also be soft; there is no guarantee that your home WILL rent right away at the price you want or need.

7. Consider what needs to be done if you go ahead and relocate but need to continue marketing your home. Your agent can handle this from afar but you will need to be involved.

8. Look into having someone to property manage you place after you leave. This may be more important if you rent, since your agent can, and should, watch out for your home while it is being marketed.

Is it better to rent first or buy in your new location?!

That's a tough one, and it depends on your personal situation, how you want to live, if you have a house full of pets, your financial concerns, children and schools, etc. I've done it both ways. We rented when we moved from Minneapolis back to Boston; we bought before we moved from Boston to California.

The advantage to renting first is that you can take the time to really get to know the area and decide where you want to look , plus you have time to look more carefully before you buy. Say, for example, renting for 6 months. On a house hunting trip you are limited in time and may have to buy quickly even if you are not ready. I think renting can work if you really don't have time to find and buy a home while you are relocating. It's best, I believe, if it's a conscious decision and not one that is forced on you.

In my opinion, there are some disadvantages - (1) you have to move twice in a short period of time,  (2) you may not have all your furniture and "stuff," (3) finding a rental that takes pets can be a challenge, (4) finding a short term rental can likewise be tough (although perhaps less in this slower market), (5) finding the right rental in the same town where you want to buy so your kids don't have to change schools twice in 1 year may be hard to do, (6) financially it may cost you more since you have to pay the rent plus 1-2 months security and maybe the last month's rent in advance, (7) psychologically and emotionally it can be hard to move to a rental in a new place (and the condition may not be what you are accustomed to).

I can't give you the answer, but am simply suggesting this may be something to ponder, and think about the pros and cons.