Zen House Hunting

There are many stress related events in your life marriage, divorce, death, but right at the top of the list has to be preparing to buy a home.  This is especially true if you are a first time home buyer.  Still it holds true no matter how many times you have gone through the process.  If a couple fights over the TV remote, where they want to go to dinner or what movie to see, the house buying process is going to be real nerve racking.  There are some ways you might put into play that can ease the pressure of this process. 

• The first thing is to go and visit a lender.  Let him be the guy that tells you how much you can afford in a home purchase.  He or she can be the one you are mad at not each other.  This will also take some pressure off of the main breadwinner of the house, he or she will know what financial obligation is going to fall on their shoulders.
• Sit down and really talk about what you want in this house.  Each of you write down three must have things for a home to be acceptable. 
• Discuss what geographic locations are acceptable to both of you.
• Discuss what days will be set aside for house hunting.  Or will one person go and preview all of the properties first with your lists in mind?  Then when you have a short list you both go and look to make the decision.
• NO FIGHTING while this may seem it should go without saying you don't fight in front of your agent or any involved third party, it becomes embarrassing for everyone but the comfort zone may be so shattered you can no long work with the agent or the seller.  Respect is key here.
• It is also to be as neutral as possible, you want to present a united front when it comes to negotiations.  When it comes to price you want no extra information that the sellers or sellers agent can play on.
• Pick a place where you can sit quietly and not be rushed and talk about the homes you have seen.  Make this someplace relaxing not home or at an office.  As you discuss each home you have seen, review your lists of what was acceptable to both of you.  You might find you can not have everything on your list but compromise is a beautiful thing if done kindly and with respect.
• Pick your agent carefully, Pick an agent you feel comfortable with and who you feel can represent both of your wishes.  You are going to find your agent is going to become part of the family.  You are going to be discussing very personal things with them.  If you come to an impasse you should be able to work through it if you trust your agent and any advice that can be offered.
•  Keep your eyes on the end result.  This is a very intense process but with dignity and respect you at the end will have a home you both love and a relationship still intact.

                                Happy  House Hunting