St George, Utah
This is the very best weblog you can visit to find information about real estate and what's happening in Southern Utah. We post here often about present conditions of the real estate market in Washington County and how you can benefit as either a buyer or seller. Visit our website to search the Washington County MLS anytime without having to register your name at www.BassoGroup.com
Site Feed
 RSS Feed
|
Feb. 11, 2008
My turn, my turn! Finally! Yes it’s me Moose (but I think you all know me as Stoopid). Since those Hollywood writer types are still on strike (and Gizmo thinks he’s that important), I get another shot at writing the column. You may remember my last writing attempt didn’t go too good cuz’ I wasn’t a very good speller, but you’ll be happy to know that I have completed the entire Hooked on Phonics mail order course and I think I’ve come along quite nicely.
Anyway, I know you’ve heard about that diet thing we got put on just after Christmas. Well, I’m here to tell you, there’s only one of us dieting and it’s not Gizmo. Us dogs have this thing called hierarchy and apparently, I’m not as high up on this hierarchy as Gizmo. When the humans put down the 2 bowls of food, he rushes in and scarfs up both bowls. Apparently he’s on the see-food diet and I get the air and water diet. I must admit though, that I am looking rather svelte. The humans have finally caught on to his tricks cuz’ now we have to eat in shifts. He gets the first shift and I’m stuck on the second shift. At least I’m getting fed again!
Now, to completely change the subject, how about this white stuff that’s laying all over my yard? I’m not quite sure, but I think I heard the humans call it snow. Whatever it is, I LOVE IT and don’t ever want it to go away. I have spent the entire day in it, rolling around, eating it, peeing in it and kicking it with my back legs to the high heavens. Grass is good to kick too, but not nearly as much fun. When I came in through the doggy door covered in snow this morning, the female human told the male human that someone had stolen her dog and replaced it with a baby polar bear. Baby polar bear my foot! I’m at least as mean and fierce as a big old daddy polar bear. Not to mention better looking.
I don’t know how long my writing gig will last but I’m hoping for more than just this one time. I am getting a little worried about Gizmo though. He seems to be seeing things in the yard that no one else sees. He spends the majority of the day barking furiously at invisible monsters. Every once in a while, I’ll go out and bark too, just to make him think that I’m seeing the monsters too. Trust me though, there’s nothing out there. He is (according to the humans) totally deaf. Personally, I just think he’s not interested.
Well my friends, my new best friend (the snow) is calling my name and I must heed that call. Lord knows how long it will stick around and I don’t want to miss the opportunities that await me (muddy paws, snow in the house, etc.).
Aug. 8, 2007
Yes, it’s me, Moose (sometimes known as Stoopid). I begged and I pleaded for another chance to be able to share my views. I promised that I’d spell everything real good-like and try to use proper English. So, here goes. It may take me a little longer, because apparently I’m not as “smart” as Gizmo, but I am definitely gaining on him in popularity. I got to go to Auntie Carol’s for a couple of weeks recently and was hounded (no pun intended) by numerous adoring fans. What with being chased by the ‘pawperazzi’ and bothered to constantly sign my ‘pawtograph’, I barely had time to get into any trouble. Ah, the life of a celebrity! I can only imagine what Paris Hilton’s fur baby must be going through right now.
I was thumbing (well, not really thumbing, since I don’t have thumbs) through some of Gizmo’s previous columns and thought I’d better comment on some things he’s told you. Shower Monsters don’t really exist. Oh, I’m sure in the deep, twisted recesses of his mind he believes, but I’m here to tell you, there ain’t no such thing. Near as I can tell, he might be slipp ing a bit in the mental stability department.
One thing that IS true: He’s fat! No bones about it. He’s not big-boned, short for his weight, thyroid challenged, or anything else but just plain porcine. I’m thinking it must have something to do with the extra nummies at Grandma’s house. I’ll be the first to admit that I have some extra love on my handles but at least I can go on really long walks. Gizmo is ready to have the female human go get the car after 1 or 2 blocks.
Another truth: I have pretty much stopped being destructo-dog. I mean, you can only chew so many shoes, dig so many holes, eat so many plants, pants and other various clothing items. I know it took me a while, but I started to realize that being called a good dog has many more rewards than being shipped off to Cesar the Dog Whispering guy. Why does he whisper anyway?
Anyway, I know my female human is just waiting for the other shoe to drop (or get chewed) but I’m SO over that stuff now. I really like the freedom (parole?) that being a good dog gets me. Even though I still get that yearning sometimes to go out in the backyard, dig a big hole and see what the relatives in China are up to, I’m doing my best to resist temptation. Maybe, just maybe, if I’m really good, the female human will let me use the computer to e-mail my Chinese relatives and I won’t have to desecrate the yard in order to stay in touch.
Aug. 8, 2007
Well, I finally wrestled the computer back from Moose. He thinks that just because he spells better than last time, that he should be able to write EVERY month. Au contraire! They don’t call this “Gizmo’s Gossip” so Moose can write it. The only problem I have with doing this column every month is the dreaded Carpawl Tunnel Syndrome I’ve developed in my right paw. Those darned repetitive motion injuries...
Not much has been going on around our house and Moose has been behaving himself for the most part, although he has a new hobby—he thinks its really cool to hang his head out of the car window. For those of you who aren’t from around these parts, it’s been about a gazillion degrees outside. This weather is NOT prime dog-head-hanging-out-the-window time. For some reason, Moose has the male human convinced that it’s ok to drive around St. George with the window all the way down, just so he can look cool. For those of us who are already cool, it’s just darned annoying. Yeah, he looks really cool when we get home and he passes out on the bed from heat exha ustion. Real cool Moose!
Our humans are actually thanking their lucky stars that we are as well-behaved as we are. My female humans’ sister recently had occasion to rescue a dog from the shelter. Well, all was good and fine for the first two weeks and then one night they came home after only an hour away and found that the dog had gone berserk and chewed up the entire couch! Not only that, but the curtains were ripped down and magazines were shredded into little, bitty pieces! I heard them saying something about so much stuffing on the floor, it looked like it snowed in their living room. Makes us look pretty good, eh?
We did get to go on a trip to Beaver a few weeks ago, and yes, of course we got a burger! You didn’t honestly think that diet thing was gonna stick, did ya? Let me tell you, willpower is no different for a dog. Most of the time the humans leave the house nowadays, they are always telling us that we have to stay home, because it’s too hot. That’s A-OK with me—I’d much rather be home, sleeping on the bed with that wonderful hole in the ceiling blowing delightful, frigid air. So, if you happen to see the male human driving around town, the only dog you’ll see in the car is Stoopid. Come to think of it, who’s the Stoopid one—the dog or the human who allows it? Hmmmm……
|
Submit Feedback
Member Login
Blogs Homepage
Featured Entries
Recent Entries
Recent Comments
Tags
My Starred Entries
Create A Blog