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RSS FeedGizmo is on STRIKE |
Feb. 11, 2008
My turn, my turn! Finally! Yes it’s me Moose (but I think you all know me as Stoopid). Since those Hollywood writer types are still on strike (and Gizmo thinks he’s that important), I get another shot at writing the column. You may remember my last writing attempt didn’t go too good cuz’ I wasn’t a very good speller, but you’ll be happy to know that I have completed the entire Hooked on Phonics mail order course and I think I’ve come along quite nicely.
Anyway, I know you’ve heard about that diet thing we got put on just after Christmas. Well, I’m here to tell you, there’s only one of us dieting and it’s not Gizmo. Us dogs have this thing called hierarchy and apparently, I’m not as high up on this hierarchy as Gizmo. When the humans put down the 2 bowls of food, he rushes in and scarfs up both bowls. Apparently he’s on the see-food diet and I get the air and water diet. I must admit though, that I am looking rather svelte. The humans have finally caught on to his tricks cuz’ now we have to eat in shifts. He gets the first shift and I’m stuck on the second shift. At least I’m getting fed again!
Now, to completely change the subject, how about this white stuff that’s laying all over my yard? I’m not quite sure, but I think I heard the humans call it snow. Whatever it is, I LOVE IT and don’t ever want it to go away. I have spent the entire day in it, rolling around, eating it, peeing in it and kicking it with my back legs to the high heavens. Grass is good to kick too, but not nearly as much fun. When I came in through the doggy door covered in snow this morning, the female human told the male human that someone had stolen her dog and replaced it with a baby polar bear. Baby polar bear my foot! I’m at least as mean and fierce as a big old daddy polar bear. Not to mention better looking.
I don’t know how long my writing gig will last but I’m hoping for more than just this one time. I am getting a little worried about Gizmo though. He seems to be seeing things in the yard that no one else sees. He spends the majority of the day barking furiously at invisible monsters. Every once in a while, I’ll go out and bark too, just to make him think that I’m seeing the monsters too. Trust me though, there’s nothing out there. He is (according to the humans) totally deaf. Personally, I just think he’s not interested.
Well my friends, my new best friend (the snow) is calling my name and I must heed that call. Lord knows how long it will stick around and I don’t want to miss the opportunities that await me (muddy paws, snow in the house, etc.).
ustion. Real cool Moose! 
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