What are Mom and Dad going to do next? : Rooftop Views

Rooftop Views

What are Mom and Dad going to do next?

Remember the days - back when Mom and Dad would constantly nag to bring a sweater, clean your plate, check in with a phone call when out late? Most of us couldn't wait to grow up and get out on our own - but before you know it, your role with your parents often reverses as they get older. Especially if you don't live in the same immediate vicinity as your parents, suddenly you find that YOU are the one worried when you don't get that expected phone call from them. Ironic, huh?

But even if you are watching out for a parent from a distance - there are answers.

First, listen carefully during even casual conversations. If a parent mentions that the house is getting harder to maintain or the stairs are too steep to climb, use this opportunity to start a conversation about alternatives such as downsizing, or perhaps having help come in once or twice a week. This may give your parent the independence that they wish to maintain, but also helps provide you both with peace of mind. The National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers offers this website: www.FindaCareManager.org to help find assistance in your parents' home area.

Next, try to meet their neighbors and have their contact information handy. If you are not able to reach them, a neighbor may be able to make a quick visit to their home to make sure everything is OK. Additionally, check out the site www.eldercare.gov, which provides information about local services and resources that can help an older person live independently in their own community.

Consider giving your parent the gift of technology with the Samsung Jitterbug phone. The phone is equipped with a large easy to read numerical key pad, a dial tone (unlike a regular cell phone), allows for numbers to be programmed and can be used by an individual with a hearing aid.

Sadly, identity thieves prey on the aging population. Help parents automate their finances by setting up direct deposit for their social security, pension or retirement and establish automatic payments for their monthly recurring expenses. That way, should a parent get a random phone call from a thief; they will be less likely to volunteer personal information knowing that the account is automatically paid. Also, be sure to remove your parent's phone number from telemarketers by visiting www.donotcall.gov, and help them prevent identity theft by "opting out" of pre-approved credit offers, at www.optoutprescreen.com

And even though it may be difficult to have "the talk" - discuss the idea of meeting with an Estate Planner to make sure that everything is in order, exactly as they'd want it to be - including a will, trust, power of attorney (both general and medical). Be sure to find out where these documents are kept and confirm that all documents including insurance policies, social security cards, lists of medications, and important contact information for lawyers, attorneys, and doctors are all filed in one secure location.