Are your elderly relatives financially secure? : Rooftop Views

Rooftop Views

Are your elderly relatives financially secure?

Are you noticing subtle – or maybe not so subtle – changes in the way your aging relatives are handling their finances lately? Are you concerned that they might be having serious trouble, but you don't want to say anything to make them feel bad or put them on the defensive? While this can be a sensitive area for many people to discuss with aging family members, there are ways you can assist your family members with their finances without causing embarrassment or completely taking over this important task.

The first step, however, is communicating. You have to do it. If you're concerned that there's a problem, then there's really no way around it. After all, the best time to act on this is before something disastrous happens to their finances or their health that could challenge your lives and your relationship even more. Did you know that a recent study found that nearly 60% of people who endured a home foreclosure never spoke to their lender or even their closest family members, until it was too late? Don't let this happen.

A good way to begin the discussion is to simply ask them how they're doing, and to let them know you are concerned about them. Some experts suggest using "I" statements to help break the ice and get the conversation going: "I am worried about you, and I want to make sure that everything is okay."

Once you've gained their confidence, let them know that you're just there to help. Sit down with them and assess the situation. Offer to help them organize their important documents, like their checkbooks, bills, bank statements, credit card statements, even their mail. Those having difficulty managing their finances will often have large piles of unopened mail, notices from utilities and collection agencies, and excessive amounts of magazine and catalogue subscriptions – even un-cashed checks. These are huge red flags that can help you uncover just how bad the situation may be.

Be sure to discuss their income, assets and insurance policies, even safe deposit boxes. Find out if a will is in place, and discuss whether a health care power of attorney is appropriate. Help them find and apply for government programs or special interest groups and clubs that represent seniors, like the AARP Money Management Program and the National Council on Aging. If it's too much for you to handle on your own, find out if they would be willing to have a family attorney or financial planner review the materials you've already organized together.

It may take a little work and a lot of patience, but don't assume that your relatives will automatically reject your offer to help. Take the time to communicate, and help them get their finances back on track. You'll be glad that you did