Occasionally a buyer will want to buy or a seller will want to sell -- and I will suggest that they may want to consider other options. Nothing seems to surprise buyers and sellers more than when I help them find an alternative to buying or selling.

For example, a couple called me some years ago saying that they were close to being behind in their mortgage and that they felt they had to sell in order to get out from under an unbearable debt. I helped them refinance instead. They had gotten bad advice from other agents and lenders and didn't think they had any other options. They managed to reduce their monthly payment by a large enough amount that they were able to stay in the house.

I've also begged buyers to wait until they were in a better financial position before buying. Sometimes they listen and sometimes they don't. Okay, usually they don't. It's not that I don't think they can buy, it's that I think they would be in a stronger position -- qualify for better interest rates or lower downpayments -- if they wait until their job situation has settled down or they've fixed their credit. A plan for increasing savings or for fixing credit can make a world of difference even just a few months later.

It's not that I don't want the business, 'cause I really do. The litmus test is this -- what advice would I give to my son, daughter or my mother-in-law. If I wouldn't give a particular recommendation to them, I won't give it to my clients. Putting commission first is a sure way to burn bridges. If the choice is to move forward with buying or selling, then I'm happy to move forward with them, but at least I know they've explored the options.

(C) Susan Pruden.